It was just like ‘The Day That Never Comes!‘ (Oh my, why did that album sucked so bad??) I changed my wordpress to a WordPress.com premier account, changed themes from time to time, had my designers come up with a new look and feel, but it just did not work. All of a sudden I realized, may be it is not that. May be it is not that the designs were bad, or everything was not in place.. May be it’s me. I have seen so many active blogs with a real simple standard Twenty Twenty theme, but I just could not get what it was to write and what it was like to be expressing everything you feel like!
It was not until I really digged deeper in to Altuchers blog that I figured out what was really missing. That blog is freaking amazing, so addictive, just can’t get enough of it (See his 10 rules about blogging). It was not really about any of those ‘I don’t have time’s or ‘bad design’s or anything. It was really me. I was scared to write what came to my mind. I did not know what people would think when I say what I wanted to say. Of cause I talk, I talk a lot. I argue a lot and I am fine with that. I was scared the fact that a conversation that is in front of a few people is now wide open to everyone else, to the whole world. Then I realized, it does not matter. It does not really matter how many people would read it, how many would comment, how many would hate, or criticize. It wasn’t until Deepamala told me ‘You have so much to offer and the description about you says none of that! it just says you tweet and you have a facebook profile‘ that I figured out I shouldn’t really be concerned about expressing what I really want to in public. I was not really fighting with time, I was fighting with myself!
I want to say it with blood. It is not just about all these tech talks, successful events or whatever people want others to see in them. It is really about sharing the real experiences! I’ve been talking to many Sri Lankan tech entrepreneurs last few weeks and figured out it was not just me who’ve had bad times, everyone has had! They too seemed to feel like they have found the same kind and I was relaxed, calmed down. I’ve been doing the right thing. I get criticized so many times a day for being so arrogant. I used to say ‘It’s business! nothing personal.’ and I don’t say that anymore. Somehow I have taken off the word ‘business’ from it since it mislead people many times. now I just say, ‘Nothing personal!’ ‘We will fight for a good cause!’ I say..
All of a sudden I am just relaxed! Felt good to be back! Oh wait, I was never here. I just kept a blog online so people could see who I am when they google my name, wasn’t necessarily to express my thoughts! For a moment it was like to be on a stage in front of a crowed, rocking out! (yes yes, there was ONLY about 100 people and I was the one on drums!). My good old buddy Jerod and I so wanted to tour back in 2004 and 2005. Yes we all were hardcore Mars Volta and Mastodon fans.